THE RED STRING TIES THE KNOT OF EVERLASTING LOVE
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
i seriously have no idea have to describe today... the beginning of the day was quite good although i have no idea why andy decided to show me some attitude... after school guowei changwen and i went to settlers... it was fun... we played only two games but it was nice... but that numbers games was like so confusing!!! i'm never good with numbers... but at least it was more fun than math... oh talking about math, mr david chan is so nice! he gave us a pen with words saying "an ordinary pen for u to write extraordinary stuff... good luck for your o levels!" so good right??!?! anyways, after settlers, andy called me and told me to go back to school cause he CUT HIS HAND! i was so dam worried! when i heard that i immediately just ran... all that was on my mind was to see if he was ok... when i got to the main road i was breathless so decided to take a cab... some bad stuff happened which i dont want to elaborate on.... and i went for night focus... it was quite fun... mathias lost his voice and everyone was like asking him to talk... haha.. but he's a nice guy... seriously... and then nothing much happened la...i wish things could have gone back to how they were last time... i really miss those times of laughter... i really miss all those times... but why are things turning out like this... somehow i just feel like things u said to me u didnt mean them... everytime u promise me something i have high hopes for it... but yet, the disappointment gets greater each time... am i suppose to bare with it until it finally gets better? i always tell myself to give u time and u will fulfill your promise but then, nothing's happened yet... sometimes i really wonder is it that the problem lies with me... i was really hurt yesterday and today... words cant describe how i actually felt... trying to put up a strong front in front of everyone really sucks... and esp you.... knowing that even if i cry, it's not going to change anything... i hate lying to myself... i really wished sometimes u would understand the pain... but i know u never will... i know u're trying, but still, it's not working... there are times i really feel so alone.... cause even when i tell u something, it's not going to be resolved but instead u will just say "let's not talk about it anymore k" when i tell u i want u too solve it with me and not just drop the matter... each word u say like "you're the person i love so much" or "you're such a important person to me" and those messages that i saved only hurts more now when i read through them... trying to convince my self that u meant every single thing but actions speak louder than words... and u told me by 1th august, everything will be much better... and u will make me happier, but today's the 30th of july, yet, things are getting worst.... why? u know i hate it when people say things that they cant fulfill! i just dont know what to do now... u've hurt me....
WHY SO SERIOUS?
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
ok... i realise that i've been a little cranky these few days... dam... but i'm better now! and that's good.. the only not so good thing is that i'm falling sick... GREAT!! haiz... my english results very like just totally crappy laaaaa... haiz... and i still dont understand that logic behind my father not allowing me to spend a day with my friends on my birthday...dam... but i guess life's like that... u get some stuff and some stuff are just not meant to be...
but i still think i'm lucky to have andy and my wonderful friends... they really mean alot to me! haha... although life can really be a bitch sometimes, but they make it better...
WHY SO SERIOUS??
i still think the joker is dam cool! heath ledger should never have died... haiz...
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
Monday, July 28, 2008
WHY SO SERIOUS?
argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if one day i really go crazy, i'll make sure he knows it's his fault! (dont worry... it's not any of my friends or andy...)
according to him, 16th birthday is not important! bloody hell... it's one of the most important birthdays ever... and i just want to spend it with the people whom i enjoy spending my time with... is that too much to ask for! just for one day!!!! argh!!!!!!! there's no use trying to be a good daughter... cause in the end, i still suck as a daughter right!
whatever la! i'm so tired of trying already... everytime i achieve something, it's never good enough! even when i really study, it's still not use! argh argh argh!!! this is going to be my worst birthday ever.... they always say why i care for my friends so much, that's because at least they're there for me!!!!! it's always my fault la! it's always words like "why cant u be more responsible?", "you are such a disappointment", "cant u get things right".... argh!!!! whatever la!!!!
i'm not a genius la!!!! i really studied for chem and humans!!!!! but still fail la!!! ok la... mary is STUPID! but just give me time la! i'm trying already la... i cant suddenly get like and B right... argh! what's the use of trying when nothing pays off!
WHY SO SERIOUS?
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
Sunday, July 27, 2008
sometimes i think i dont really know what i'm thinking... i'm seriously in love with the joker that heath ledger acted as... but it's too late now.... he's dead... no more movies of him.... why why why!
i'm stuck at home and really bored now... i dont understand sometimes why people make promises they cant fulfill! but i'm like that too.... i've done that before... sometimes i feel like the one thing i regret the most is being with eugene while sometimes i feel that the one thing that has ever made me really happy was being with eugene... so what the hell am i thinking man!
some emotions are just so hard to express! but there's one line i've learnt to say... and that is from the joker, "why so serious?"... which actually makes sense! why does everything have to be taken so seriously.... doesnt mean if u take it seriously mean it's gonna work out right... like i was dam serious about eug but what happened in the end???? everything just turned out to be outright bullshit!
Why does eug have to do thing now that i'm sure he knows is not good for him...is he really like that by nature?? i dont think so! sometimes it's just so frustrating to see someone u care for just go the wrong way.... but it's his life... he's still a friend to me....
aiya... i was just vending out my anger that's all... just really moody now la... maybe cause i just woke up... haha... i'm feeling better now...
WHY SO SERIOUS?
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
Saturday, July 26, 2008
I LOVE YOU, YES I DO.....
Haha... that was random... but i suddenly just wanted to say that....
i'm just so glad andy's by my side.....
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Today i saw eugene and many many other guys going up to the sky garden near our school... andy and i walked pass him... he saw andy and said "eh! want join not?" at first i didnt know what they were going there to do... then, andy told me and i realised... i dont understand why eugene is doing this... he wasnt like this before... or maybe i just didnt know him well enough at all... i thought he was someone who wouldnt go with the crowd i thought he knew what he should and should not do... but i guess i was wrong.. i just felt like telling him to stop.. but i know i dont have the rights to say anything now... i hope someone would just go and lead him back to who he used to be.... he's a good brother, a filial son and grandson, a good friend... i hope he knows what he's doing now...
on the other hand, i'm glad andy's not like that.. he has his priorities right... so i dont really have to worry for him... expect sometimes... andy's right, each time after we have a quarrel, we end up loving each more... that's quite scary actually..but both of us agreed we only have one life, so we'll make the best out of it... there's nothing to lose anyway... andy hasnt given up on me despite all the things i have done.. i'm really very touched by that... when i tell him i want to give up, he will just support me and hold me strong... making sure i dont give up too. he rather take up all the responsibility than losing me... i'm really lost for words... the thing that held me back from walking away from him today was cause i knew i still loved him... he's really my pillar of support...though there are things that i cant say out to him... but i know he's trying his best and we'll both learn to slowly give and take....
i realise in my life there are 2 people that really care alot for me... i'm really thankful for... they are keiko and guowei... today at my lowest point, they encouraged me and gave me a reason to smile... those two are really friends that i will never let go of and i will always remember them... i love them!!!!!!!!
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
挑一张耶诞卡写上
满满祝福的话
地址写的是心底
你能不能收到它
天有点冷风有点大
城市宁静而喧哗
这一个冬天我得
一个人走回家
问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜里回声变得好大
有没有什么好方法
让寂寞变听话
你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念里挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发 有再多的牵挂都
已没有权利表达(没有权利表达)
旧情人给的问候
比陌生人还尴尬(都还尴尬)
昨天远了明天还长
回忆模糊但巨大
这样的深夜眼泪要怎样不流下
I can really relate to this song... dont know why... just feel like this is what i want to say now... there are so many things i want to say but yet i cant.. so many things i want to say to ....
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
Monday, July 21, 2008
WHY CANT GUYS JUST PUT DOWN THEIR PRIDE FOR ONCE...
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
Sunday, July 20, 2008
MINGFA JIAOLIAN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
IT'S my coach's birthday today... really miss those times where the team trains with him... the sweat the joy the tears the encouragements the pain the smiles... really really memorable... he's really a wonderful coach... whenever we call to him for help he's always there.. i will always remember the times where he really helped me when i was down and the encouragements he gave... he was more than just a coach.. he was a friend and someone who never fails to give us advice... really wish time could go back to when we were still having trainings... those were the happiest times...
today i was quite happy... met andy in the morning and he sent me to church... i really enjoy all those times with him cause he never fails to put a smile on my face... when i'm out with him, i feel so relaxed and i can be myself... i like it that he accepts me for who i am... he doesnt expect me to change... with him, i can be crazy, mad, loud, silly anything... and he'll just play along with it... aiyo the main point is...
I AM VERY HAPPY NOW
i really look forward to everyday spent with him.. after i'm with him i only realise that time spent apart bring the heart closer together... the times that i'm not with him i'm still happy cause i know that although we're not spending the time together but our hearts are together... he just makes me feel so special.. although we've had heartbreaking quarrels but at the end of the day i still love him and he still loves me... that's all that matters... after each quarrel, we treasure the relationship more than before and get over the anger and apologize to each other and look forward to a new day... he's been writing so many letters to me expressing his thoughts and feelings... which makes me understand more... the way he's always able to make me smile is just amazing...
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
Saturday, July 19, 2008
HELLO! i've just watched narnia and i've decided that my future husband's gonna have to learn to ride a horse! cause i think i'm the typical girl who dreams of her husband to be knight that rides a horse!
i've just bought andy's science textbook for him cause i lost it... haha... i keep losing his things la.. yet he never seems to lose his temper at me... i wonder why...
and i just cant get over the fact that heath ledger died! omg. this is like the peak of his career... really sad. such a talent and not to mention that he has such sharp features...
this is what happens when i have a blog.. i start blogging like 2 to 3 times a day... haiz... but i'm bored so it's not really my fault.. i realize i'm actually quite a lucky person.. i have a complete family... friends who care for me and a boyfriend who loves and pampers me.. what more could i ask for? haha...
I was watching mind your language! so so funny...
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
Friday, July 18, 2008
i saw this from beatrice's blog....
"you'll meet 4 people in your life...
yourself,
the person u love the most,
the person who loves u the most
and the person whom u'll be spending the rest of your life with"
they are all different people... quite sad isnt it...
going for tuition soon....finally! getting really bored...
andy's working now.. if he's happy then why not right...
i just noticed something today...
i'm actually not that short u know... there are like alot of people whom are shorter than me!
oh ya... just now when i was buying lunch there was this nurse standing behind me... she was so dam impatient! she stood so close to me and her body rubbed against my hands... which got me a little irritted then she still stepped on my slippers and when i pull it out she still stared at me! WTH! she's like a nurse la for goodness sick! i wouldnt want to go to the hospital she's working at! arghhhhhhh! just vending out my anger that's all....
haha! i feel like posting lots of photos but i'm lazy to find them so i shall just put some...
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
NICE SONG! THE MAROON 5 SINGER IS HOT!!!
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
HELLO! ytd was like super fun.... actually not bad la... school was ok... i finally decided to pass eugene the birthday card... andy wasnt very happy about it but he agreed to it in the end... so that was good.. he's really very understanding towards me la. so i passed to clinton to pass to eugene.. i wrote very brief things in the card but kaina, jeff, guowei and changwen were like telling me it's hell long and kept telling me to stop writing... kaina was like saying "AIYO!MARY! stop already la! enough already... dont write so much la!" hahaa..in the end, i decided to just conclude and pass it to him... sort of like a last thing to him ba...
started to think of what could've been if we hadnt broken up but i stopped cause i'm happy with andy and i shouldnt think about the past ever again! slowly la... then after school i had lunch with andy but my crams were like so bad i thought i was so going to die, as usual... we were just sitting behind eugene which made it quite awkward.. but i didnt really care cause my stomach was so pain! then after that i went to change cause i stained my skirt...
went to meet jeff, kelvin and changwen after that to settlers! when i saw them i kind of just walked to them and forgot to say bye to andy which made him really pissed... sorry andy! i really feel bad about it...
at settlers, we play tai ti, i'm the boss, black jack(which jeff decided on his own!) and taboo... haha... i'm the boss was so fun... jeff's right, really a game that kills relationships! so much threatening and betrayal... but so fun! taboo was very funny.. kelvin was trying to make jeff guess the word cycle and he started doing all sorts of movements which looked like everything except for cycling... haha... then andy called me and told me to meet him earlier cause he didnt have dnt! he called like 30 over times only i saw the miss call so naturally he was quite frustrated... so i just went off earlier to meet him...
andy and i intended to watch the dark knight but there were no tickets so we ended up eating seoul garden! which he did almost all of the cooking and eating... haha... he's really sweet la... he would get up to take the food for me and cook it for me... then we took 111 and changed to 106 and reached my house... as usual he'll start saying " late already, i dont send u home already k! byebye" and try to make it sound dam convincing but in the end still send me home... he's been doing this for the past 2 months plus.. haha...
the main point it that yesterday was just fun and nice...
andy really makes my day!!
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
Thursday, July 17, 2008
OH YA! BTW, CHANGWEN!! SORRY AH TODAY PS U... MAKE UP FOR IT TOMORROW OK!=)
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
ALRIGHT! so here's what happened.. i went with andy to school today then met keiko and albert and after waiting for albert, we met guowei and went to party world... it was like totally fun! some songs really brought back so many memories... like 25minutes, zui shou xi de mo shen ren, breathe easy and many more laaaa... i miss those kbox life man!
anyway, tomorrow's eugene's birthday... i bought a card for him but i dont know whether i should give it to him...haiz... i've decided to entrust clinton to pass it to him but the thing is clinton doesnt even know it's eugene's bday tmr! lol! haiz... sometimes i really wonder what i'm thinking... maybe i shouldn't even give him the card... i mean since it's like over between us... and i dont want him or andy to misunderstand.... aiya... hate this....i shall decide tmr whether i'm really going to give the birthday card to him anot! break up still can be friends la right... not as if i'm going to write "i love u" or "i miss u" into it... just friend friend birthday wish la...
i'm going to watch the dark knight tomorrow with andy after his dnt!! yeah! finally.. he actor that acted as the joker died recently cause of over-dosage of drugs... that's dam sad... this could have been his award winning show... what a pity!
anyway, i really thankful for keiko! somehow, she really understands me so much... like we have alot in common in our thinking and it's very easy to tell her things... i really enjoy going out with her la... no stress.... she's really a wonderful girl..
btw, this guowei helped me change my blog skin... so... thanks so much!!!
i have no idea why despite the big quarrel i had with andy last night, i still find him a wonderful person each time i think of him... he really brings joy into my life, i feel special when i'm around him and he's special to me too.. sometimes we get so pissed of at each other but at the end of the day, we still solve the whole situation and still have the urge to make each other smile... he's really made me understand how happy it can make me feel to do things for him..like waiting for him after school or trying to save on his phone bill or giving in at times... really glad he's taught me that while doing so much for someone, it feels as if i gained something! aiya, the main point is i love him!
my life is just seriously filled with people that i'm really thankful for!
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
HELLO PEOPL! i've decided to use this blog again because i think it's nice and since i've left it there untouched for a million years, i shall use it again now...
reading through my previous posts really brought back so many memories... to the times where everything was so happy and pure... so few worries and so many smiles... i really miss those times...
While i was reading through my previous posts, i saw this phrase " love is what we need, yet it's what we lack, that's why we like love songs...no matter you're in love now or out of it, whether you love him more or he loves you more, actually, to love or being loved is also happiness"
now i can say that this is true....The time eugene and i have spent together will always remain in my heart... when eugene and i broke up when we were in sec one... i prayed to God that i could just have one more day with him that he will love me for just one more day... but God already gave me so much more in the end... he gave me an extra 5 months and 4 days with him... 14 october 2007 to 18 march 2008... the times i spent with eugene is really amazing... i finally experienced what it was like to love and not care about what tomorrow brings... he made my dream come true and brought so much happiness... although there were tears, but each time, i want to love him more and keep him by my side... it's my selfishness that made me lose him in the end... i didnt give him the freedom he wanted, although in the end i let loose already but it was all too late... he couldnt take it anymore.... that's why we broke up... with him, i experienced a miracle in my life.... although we said to patch after o levels, but i knew from the beginning, i was forcing him to agree again and not giving him the freedom... so this time, i've decided to let go... after all, loving someone is making sure they're happy... i hope now his life is much better and less stressful with his riding, swimming, things he loves to do.... i just hope he knows how to take care of himself.... i know i cant be there to remind him to not ride too late, or to study more, or to drink more water, or dont do so many stunts with his bike, or to watch his health, or to rmb to feed the hamsters, or to eat more... so i hope his friends would do the reminding... no matter what happened, he's still a wonderful person in my heart.. i do not hate him.... his birthday is coming, 18th july... 3 more days... i know it was meant to be a happy day when i was still with him, i still planned of what to do for him.. but i guess it's not going to happen... so i'm just gonna keep to my promise to him and wish him happy birthday.... i really wish him well... i will never know of what could've been if we had not broken up, but all that is way too much for me to think of now... i still remember the warmth of his hug, the tender kisses, the sweet embrace, the promises, the things he has done for me and when the way he said "i love you dardar" to me... all good things have to come to an end one day and i hope he will be happy... i do regret being so tight on him.... but now, we all have to move on... despite the tears, the regrets, the heartaches... i've decided i've got to move on... and i wish him well.... he will always and forever have a place in my heart...
ever since andy came into my life, i've been a much happier person.... he managed to take a part of the sadness, a part of the pain away and gave me a reason to smile.... he's been so patient with me, even knowing that there are time which i think of eugene so much... i know it's hurt him so much... but he never fails to let out a smile and tell me "i love you"... and like the way he calls me in the middle of the day and tells me " i love u and i miss u"... despite the quarrels which happens once in a while, he makes me feel that with him around, i have a reason to smile... with him, i laugh so much at his jokes and the things he do to make me smile when i feel like killing me...at the time which i've fallen hard, he took my hand and brought me up.. making sure i'm not alone... always asking me, "does it make u happy? if it does, then i'll do it"... i'm really touched beyond words... i hope all these continues and it doesnt end up with the way it did with eugene...that's why i've decided to let loose and make sure that this time, will give him the freedom he wants... i'm not going to make the same mistake like i did with eugene... Our third month is coming upppp... so excitedddd................ i love u sweetie...
DEAR GOD, PLEASE PLEASE HEAL MY FATHER....PLEASE....
receive, set, spike;
WHY?
volleyball! :D
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR
MARY SEAH ♥
i am 10cm and 184kg. HAHA
(:
I want to find the end of the rainbow
contact:
email:
maryseah@hotmail.com
MY CITTER CHATTER
BYEBYE
GUOWEI! DEBORAH!!
YE LUN!
XUETING=)))
QIANHUI=)))
QINXIN=)))
SHIXIN=)))
HUILING!!
JIALING!!
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